We'd like to use Shaye, Grace, Raine or Catherine as the middle name if possible.

Oh where to start!?

a) 20 bucks says if you asked Haley Matisse's mom, "Like the painter?" she'd have no clue what you were talking about. Much like Monet, it has become trendy.

b) She neglects the obvious names: Pablyn Picasso, Markenna Chagall, JoAhn Miro.

c) Merrigan is definitely a new one for me. I prefer Mexigan - it sounds so much more confused.

d) Gentry. (sigh.) MyddleKlas? Boodgewassey? (I'd suggest Hegemony but I'm afraid someone will take me up on it.)

The Mocha Lucida Grande Zenobia - now available at Starbucks.

Helpful reader codeman38 points out little Lucy - oh, I'm sorry, is the most obvious nickname too common? - OK, little Rande is also the default font for Mac OSX. You can download her, as perverted as that sounds, here.

And another A+ for multicultural research. I just did a web search for "Giovanni baby name girl" and immediately got the feminine versions: Gianina and Giovanna.

Meanwhile, I think it's time to say a few words about gushing about a name's "meaning." Some meanings originate because the name evolved from real word (usually in a foreign language). And so their meanings are somewhat interesting.

And then some names have arbitrary meanings that for all I can tell were pulled out of a dead monkey's ass. For example, check out my good buddies the Kabalarians, who have insightful (cough) "meanings" for classy names like Beer and Toilet. I love the Kabalarians, because every one of their name analyses reads even more vague and general than the astrology listings in the newspaper.

And then some names don't have secret "meanings" because they are (dum dum DUM!) ALREADY WORDS. Sure, it'd be one hell of an irony if the name Sun meant "ugly fat pockmarked bastard," but I think it's a fair guess in English it means ... um ... wait, give me a second ... oh yeah, "sun." As in the giant ball of warmth and light that makes life possible for trees and flowers and baby bunnies and such.

Well, it looks like someone missed this Spring's traditional showing of "The Ten Commandments," probably because they were watching "Sense & Sensibility" again. But missed the scene where it's made clear Willoughby is the dashing cad's last name. Oh, and that Willoughby's a total bastard.

With more girls getting boys names and more boys getting wuss names, I'm thinking we're moving toward a society where men and women will be equal: a bunch of dainty nancies. It's names like Willoughby that give "Gay Mafia" conspiracy theorists food for thought.

I am the owner of a website that makes fun of bad baby names and I've been at this for about a year and I really like run-on sentences that make me sound like I'm 14 and perhaps live in mid-Appalachia like in eastern Kentucky maybe or western West Virigina and have been on a meth jag for seven or eight days and haven't slept and the walls are melting and sometimes the carpet starts talking to me and tells me to name my kids after the booze that helped conceive them or maybe ugly trinkets like my mom collects from QVC.

(a) (My daughter) Wellsley is named for Wellesley College in Mass.. ..

(b) I wanted to spell it with the middle "e" but we had close relatives "test-spell" it and they repeatedly left out the "e". (c) Understand that we live in [the antithesis of New England] where very few people have ever heard of the college.

(d) So, much to my personal disappointment, we decided to spell it Wellsley. (e) I must say, I love my daughter's name, (f) but I broke one of my golden rules by using a variant spelling and I've regretted it ever since. ...

(g) One of my biggies, (h)and this is just a personal opinion, (g cont.) is that variant spellings tend to look uneducated, (i)and I have been concerned that my daughter will (j) eventually broaden her horizons beyond [where we live] and she will (k) appear to have a mother who didn't know how to spell "Wellesley."

... But here's the thing - - Wellsley starts kindergarten next fall. (l)If ever the time is right to make the change, it's now. ... So, given all of that data, what would you do???"

Parts I have issue with (score along at home): (a) duh. (c) also duh. (d) half credit. (e) Oh, must you? (f) see d. (h) "I don't want to offend anyone by acting like I really disagree." (i) concerned? (j) wouldn't that be awful. (k) So it's all about you now? (l) So she's five and you haven't taught her to write her name? Yep, I think now's the time to shut the barn door.

Other comments: (b) strikes me as a good idea. (d) gets half-credit because she's actually right, but doesn't put her foot down. (g) is entirely correct. Damn you, irony!

I just spent 45 minutes under my desk shivering because of this one. I hope you're happy, little Malalalalaijah Raiden Clortrimiton!

(Side note: My boyfriend has just informed me Raiden is a Japanese thunder god, but is more commonly known in the West as a character from the Mortal Kombat games. Malalalalaijah Raiden Clortrimiton wins! FATALITY!!!!)

Vienna - Does anyone like it? I thought it was kinda pretty. The little girl is 4 who has this name. It's an Italian name....and I thought it was pretty. What do you guys think?

Among the responses:

• " It's a pretty name. I thought of Italy right when I saw it."
• " its pretty...I think of Vienna Italy - the place - right away"
• "It's kinda pretty, but nms. It is very Italian sounding, though."
• "Pretty name, thought of Switzerland instantly!!"
• "Not bad, but I do automatically think ... of vienna sausages. Vienna is also a city in Austria, but I kind of like "place" names, so that works for me, I just can't get past the sausage reference."

It's hypnotic. I can't stop looking at it. Khassendra. Keeliey. My God....it's full of vowels!

Is "The Plaintiff" already taken?

I was thinking of Silas Rain Silas Jasper Jasper Rain for a boy and Hazel Rain Hazel Sunshine Pearl Magnolia Pearl Sunshine for a girl..
We chose (so far) Boy's

1. Skyler Nicholas
2. Sawyer Angus ...

Girl's
1. Sailor Catherine
2. Summer Judy
3. Sunday Mae (Sunday is a family name)
4. Sierra Rebekah
5. Shelby Chandra

Uh oh, I smell Deadheads! I hope there's enough room in the vanagon for the trip to the Phish concert in Waukeegan.

Oh yeah, I remember Storey Golden Books. I think I had their 25¢ version of the Pokey Little Puppy Goes Rabid.

Ow! Son of a... Reading off all those K sounds made my epiglottis fall off!

In honor of this entry, and all the other entries painfully similar, I've written a song. (Just guess at a tune. It's jauntier that way!)

I'm in love with Y's!
They make my poor heart fly!
Nothing makes me sigh like a name that's crammed with Y's!
As you can surmise, for me Y's, they hypnotize!

I 'm in love with Y's!
Without Y's I would die!
For me Y's take the prize, no matter who or where or why!
I like Y's super-sized like an order of French fries!

(bridge) Last names for first, they're the only kind for me.
But without a bunch of Y's they lack a certain joi de vivre.
Y's have been neglected, their mistreatment is so petty.
I'll throw them around like so much New Year's confetti!

(Everybody!) I'm in love with Y's!
They make my poor heart fly!
Nothing makes me sigh like a name that's crammed with Y's!
As you can surmise, for me Y's, they hypnotize!

(Take it home now!) I 'm in love with Y's!
Without Y's I would die!
For me Y's take the prize, no matter who or where or why!
I like Y's super-sized like an or! der! of! French! friiiiiiiiiiiies!

boys - Afton, Jarrett, Mills, Pierson, Langdon, Locke, Linc, Asher, Stanton, Sadler, Calder, Rafe, Rans, Jantzen, Slater, Ames,

Sorry, this doesn't get a song. Just a steely gaze of pure hatred.

Boys names = middleweight boxers. Girls names = types of turbo-prop airplanes.

...I didnt want to name my children the same name as everyone else. I am proud that my children are individuals and they are very proud of their names. Most people say "I love that! What name book did you get that name from?" My kids names are: Wesson, Colt, Nika and Axel

...and they're especially proud to be named after consumer goods!

(Another writer, on teasing)...My friend just named her daughter Orchid Willow but she is going to be homeschooled. Her son's name is Sage Wolfgang which is very fitting for him.

Do I really have to say anything about this? I mean, really? If you didn't just see at least three reasons to drop your jaw to the floor with a prodigious clang, you're not allowed to read my website any more. Thank you for coming.

I think it is wonderful that they have such great imagination and discover such unique names. ...Kids will take any name and make fun of them. Most likely the unusual names will not be joked about. It is the names you can rhyme with that are made fun of. ...

My name is Diana. When I was in 5th grade, the Michael Jackson song "Dirty Diana" came out. Oh, but I was never teased because 10-year-olds aren't smart enough to come up with taunts that involve "banana" or "Guyana." (Phew!)

"One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not the same..."

Check that - none of these things are like the other. Ivory = Bone. White. Jade (no matter how you spell it): Rock. Shade of green. Sierra = Mountains. US. Capri = Island. Other side of the planet. "Flo" = the waitress on "Alice." "Flow" - Actual word. "Pain" - what I'm currently experiencing. "Medication" = what we both need.

Damn it, now I've got "Wheel in the Sky" in my head! Multiply that by 10,000 and that's what her life will be like.

my hubby got on a kick of the names rhyming, believing we would have no more. lol, we are due in nov! so, i am in a tight place. my dd is kaesyn paige,(jason w/ a "k"), and my son is richard brycin (goes by mn).

if this bb is a girl, her name will be adecyn shai (addison shay)...

i need a name w/ the "sin" sound, not the spelling! lol! i am not fond of jaxon, but my dh likes aryxon (erikson) and i am fond of tycen. ...

New naming rule: If in typing the name out you have to follow it immediately with another version in parentheses, because otherwise no one would have the slightest clue this was supposed to be a name and not Klingon for "Wax my forehead, supple wench," this is a bad, bad, woah bad bad name.

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