Star Light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, let this lady be a mental patient whose "children" are actually straws she stole from the hospital cafeteria.

How 'bout Oy and Vey.

Damn it, woman! If you don't name your baby America, the terrorists win! Every patriot must go out and name their baby America!

Miss America my ass. It's the Coming to America jokes I'd fear.

Er, yes. It will be a comment. Now I'm going to drink a bottle of Scotch. It will be a drink!

I think it'd be funnier if the kids were named Maricus and Mason and when someone asks their kids names she could go, "Consuelo and Rudolfo." They are different and unique.

Wait...Kory Allen's named after who again?

I could write a lengthy essay about people naming their kids after luxury automobiles (yes, I know Mercedes is a real girl's name, but why is it becoming more popular at the same time as variations on Lexus and Porshe (not Portia)?)...but I think the point is too obvious to waste bandwidth on.

Again, a strategy I'm not getting. They pick names on their own, and because they didn't come up with the same ones, they start over? My very basic probability skills (and an e-mail from Chris at UWash to correct me) say that the odds of two people thinking of two names of a mere five random letters each (random being the favored method of creating a bad baby name) are 1 in 380,204,032 (including rAndOm caPitalIzatIon). And that's only in the Latin alphabet.

Try new Karma Jade! The mystical good luck charm used for centuries in the mysterrrrrious Orient!

Carlie Schwinn
Carlie Poisonoak
Carlie Roadrash
Carlie Off!
Carlie Emergencyflare

And he'll create soft dolls with bizarre football shaped plastic heads.

See, what'd I say about random letters?

...because she's desperate to assuage her guilt in having named her child such a lengthy mismash of phonetic and agressively anti-phonetic spellings.

Brooklyn Hope? Kennedy Faith? How 'bout Cedars-Sinai and round out the "My kids sound like medical centers" triumverate?

Sometimes when people post their favorite names on here, we may think that they have the most ridiculous taste in the world. But there are so many people, in different cultures and places, and so their version of a beautiful name might be slightly different then ours. Get over it, and name your children what you love. Some people come on here for advice, and providing your opinion is different than knocking their choices.... Just don't hate on others!

So it's OK to provide your opinion as long as you don't actually criticize their choice, even though most of them aren't so much making choices as...asking for opinions. And the vast majority of the names have no tie whatsoever to any sort of identifiable ethnicity besides Would-Be Yuppie on Too Much Xanax. Um, yeah.

Don't worry, I don't hate on others. Their kids will do it for me.

First off, and I had to look all this up, the mother of Aniken Skywalker is named Shmee. Now there's a name. Mara Jade is a character from the many geek book sequels who thusly is described by the official Star Wars Web page:

She was once known as the Emperor's Hand -- a highly skilled assassin and operative who could hear Emperor Palpatine's bidding from across the galaxy. Trained since childhood and honed into a weapon, Mara learned self-sufficiency, piloting, marksmanship and talents in the Force while serving her dark master.

So the issue was they thought it was a bad name for a girl?

All I have to say is, "The hell???"

This is one of my favorites. It has everything, nice and compact. It's got a bad name, which sounds like a combination or fragment of a normal one, spelled strangely, and emphasized poorly.

Plus, it has a mother who insists the child is unique, and then insists in a rather desperate tone that he isn't a total social outcast, spurned by humanity and destined to live in a sewer in the bowels of Gotham City because of the badly spelled, poorly emphasized bad, bad name. Really, she acts like having friends is something you believe in, as an act of faith, as opposed to something you witness with your own eyes.

All this, and there's a good bet the kid's no more than 10, so she's presumably watching him with her own eyes a good deal. Is she rationalizing the time the kids locked Abeus in the composting toilet as a friendly hazing incident?

(Reader Tom points out, and I can't believe I missed it, that Abeus is an anagram of "abuse." )

None of which we've heard before, thank you.

but it really irks me when people get on this board and tell people that they shouldn't name their children unique/modern names. Their argument is that when they get older, their "cute" name won't make any sense. I get what they are saying, and I respect their opinions, but this is the way it is, people!!

And because it is the way it is, all those who don't think it should be will be ordered on to trucks and shipped to labor camps until they decide to name their kids Mykynzy.

Look at the paper once and see the birth annoucements, they are all newer names. Go to a kindergarten class and look at the attendance sheet, they are all newer names also. Face it, times are changing.

You vill like zee stupid names! Old names are counter-revolutionary!

I lived in a world where there were a million Josh's, Matt's and David's. Now there are a million Kayla's, Samantha's and Brittany's. Pretty soon, there are going to be a million Brayden's, Jordan's, and Madison's. Don't worry about your child growing up to be a Grandma MacKenzie, because that is going to be a normal name for her generation. Just like we have Grandma Mildred's and Grandpa Frank's, whose names have gone out years and years ago.

Yeah, well I lived in a world where plurals aren't spelled with apostrophes. "Comrade's! To give your kid's normal name's is against the teaching's of our fearless leader! You will change your way's and have lots of kid's with pretentious name's!"

Meanwhile, this staunch advocate of doofy names has gone and unravelled the primary pro-doofy name argument: Unique names make kids unique. Over and over I've read people complaining they don't want their kid to be Jenny W. or Kevin P. at school, when all they've done is set up their kids to be the even more silly Braden J. or Brooklynn M. Damn you, irony!

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